Ceridwen Buckmaster

Ceridwen Buckmaster is a group facilitator, mediator and writer. Her work is based in Nonviolent Communication (NVC), a process that facilitates clear and transparent interpersonal communication, greater understanding of trauma and compassionate holding of conflicts.

Website: ceribuckmaster.co.uk

Diary 2017

‘Holding space’ is an important empathy skill. When someone begins to trust that they are being heard, they will explore more of their emotions. Some elements of it are:

* Trusting that the person or people speaking have the wisdom to solve their own problems. (Try to avoid making suggestions or giving advice.)

* Listening without your own stories getting in the way. If the person you are speaking to has lost a job, don’t say, “Oh yes, that happened to me,” and then proceed to tell that story.

* Not asking too many questions as this will shift the focus away from the person speaking and onto your request for information.

* Remembering this metaphor of the cello. There are two cellos, one being played, one not. The cello not being played will begin to resonate, producing a sustaining overtone that amplifies and expands the frequencies of the original note. When we listen empathically, our bodies are like the resonating chamber of the second cello, allowing the first cello to fully experience the sound they are making. We all know how to do this.